I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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