Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Randomize
