All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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