Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
