Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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