I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
