is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
