you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
