it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
