when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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