it wasn't lemon gatorade
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
