You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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