we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
