he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize