:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You're like the curious george of whores
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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