Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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