I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
