so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Randomize
