Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
