Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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