I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
