Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
