i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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