They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize