Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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