you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
