id be glad to
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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