Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
