she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
