the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
