A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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