I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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