:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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