i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
honey bunches of taint.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
pray to the hookup gods
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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