She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
