we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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