Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My feet surprised me
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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