who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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