my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
