I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
