im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
