i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
