i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
