what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize