I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
