New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
