I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You left your phone here
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