just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He kissed a someone with a penis
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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