you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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