Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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