Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
