And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
