Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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