i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
