i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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