I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
