You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
