She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm at about main and main street
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Randomize
