i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize