Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
