Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
