singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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