I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
