Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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