walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
