Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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