is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
