She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
accomplished twins. life is a go
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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