very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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