someone threw a dead crab at me
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
