Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
